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The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature Paperback – April 17, 2001

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 251 ratings

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At once a pioneering study of evolution and an accessible and lively reading experience, a book that offers the most convincing—and radical—explanation for how and why the human mind evolved.

Consciousness, morality, creativity, language, and art: these are the traits that make us human. Scientists have traditionally explained these qualities as merely a side effect of surplus brain size, but Miller argues that they were sexual attractors, not side effects. He bases his argument on Darwin’ s theory of
sexual selection, which until now has played second fiddle to Darwin’ s theory of natural selection, and draws on ideas and research from a wide range of fields, including psychology, economics, history, and pop culture. Witty, powerfully argued, and continually thought-provoking, The Mating Mind is a landmark in our understanding of our own species.
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Quite ingenious stuff.... This is a welcome change from a lot of evolutionary psychology."-The New York Times Book Review

From the Author

Follow me on twitter @matingmind

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Anchor; Reprint edition (April 17, 2001)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 528 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 038549517X
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0385495172
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 15.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.2 x 1 x 8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 251 ratings

About the author

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Geoffrey F. Miller
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Geoffrey Miller is the author of Virtue Signaling (2019), Spent (2009), and The Mating Mind (2001), the co-author of Mate/What Women Want (2015), and the co-editor of Mating Intelligence (2007). He has a B.A. from Columbia and a Ph.D. from Stanford. He's a tenured evolutionary psychology professor at the University of New Mexico; and has also worked at the University of Sussex, the Max Planck Institute for Psychological Research, University College London, London School of Economics, U.C.L.A., and NYU Stern Business School. He researches evolutionary psychology, sexuality, consumer behavior, behavior genetics, intelligence, personality, creativity, humor, and mental disorders. He's has over 110 academic publications, and has given over 200 invited talks in 16 countries. His research has been featured in Nature, Science, Time, Wired, New Scientist, The Economist,The New York Times, The Washington Post, and Psychology Today, on NPR and BBC radio, and on CNN, PBS, Discovery Channel, Learning Channel, National Geographic Channel, BBC, and Channel 4.

For more information:

YouTube: www.youtube.com/geoffreymillerphd

Patreon: www.patreon.com/geoffrey_miller

Goodreads: www.goodreads.com/author/show/15428.Geoffrey_Miller

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/geoffrey-miller-002a3710/

Web Site: www.primalpoly.com/

Twitter:@primalpoly

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Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2007
Although this book doesn't directly deal with marital problems per se, reading it helps to gain understanding of both what is, and what is NOT particularly "natural" in man-woman relations (mating behavior).

As other reviewers have indicated, the main thrust of the book is to chronicle the thinking of evolutionary scientists as to the nature of non-directly survival oriented selection, i.e. selection outside the realm of the conventional "natural selection" of traits needed to survive to reproductive age. For this purpose, traits that may indicate overall offspring strength and health tend to be sexually selected for, based on the traits' difficulty to fake and conspicuous costliness. For example if a peacock can be so strong as to survive with such a heavy colorful predator attracting tail, well, he surely must be a strong peacock and, as such, quite sexy. The analog to the peacock tail for humans is, in general, extensive human intelligence.

But beyond detailing the various theses of sexual selection and its related evolutionary processes, the book also covers mating behavior of pre-civilization (Pleistocene) humans. Furthermore it notes that the amount of time civilization has existed, measured in reproductive generations, is so small that hardly an iota of genetic difference exists between civilized humans and pre-Neolithic hunter gatherers. (Some of the latter are still in existence today.) As such there can be no doubt that our basic genetic human nature is that of the hunter gatherer. Moreover, there is a material consistency in sexual/mating behavior of hunter gatherers, behavior that could be described as "natural". It's not prostitution, at least to the extent that hunter gatherers don't have/use money. It's not polygamy, this appearing as a kind of corollary to skewed distributions of power and wealth that occur in civilization. And finally it's not ultra long-term monogamy (marriage), also an outcome of civilization invented to deal with legal and economic matters concerning property, inheritance, education in child rearing, etc. Nope. The "natural", hunter gatherer way is described in the book a something akin to "serial monogamy", which across diverse hunter gatherer societies yields quite consistent observation of fairly strong temporary monogamous bonds, at least through to pregnancy. Such bonds may even extend through child birth and early baby care, but little continues after that. Half siblings and multiple lifetime lovers are more the rules than the exceptions.

With this sort of knowledge and understanding of both the evolutionary purpose and the more natural norms of human mating behavior, it seems possible that marriage counselors and their clients might be better prepared to come up with more apt solutions to marital difficulties. And I also suspect there's an important policy implication from this book for social and legal planners: invent renewable, one to five year term marriages.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2023
I didn't expect it to be in such a good condition given the price, thanks!
Reviewed in the United States on December 2, 2009
Geoffrey Miller's The Mating Mind is one of the best books on human psychology ever written--on my list, he comes just after Dawkins' The Selfish Gene and Pinker's How the Mind Works. This is more than just a book about the psychology of sex. Beneath his thesis that sex drove the evolution of human intelligence, Miller's makes a more fundamental contribution to the understanding of human behavior: that so much of what we do, we do in order to show off. Whether we're mainly showing off to sexual mates, strategic allies, or some other category is largely secondary. This range over which this idea applies is enormous:

Art--Good art is whatever is hard to make.

Charity--Miller describes being told by a socialite that she knew many anonymous donors.

Language--The selfish nature of evolution would normally to lead us to expect a world where everyone is eager to hear information from other people, but reluctant to disclose it. But of course, we're usually eager to have other people hear what we have to say, an urge that only makes sense in light of a desire to show off.

These are just some short samples--Miller will change how you view almot everything you see people around you doing. I'm a graduate student in philosophy, and for me one of the pleasures of the book is that Miller even manages to influence the way I look at some of the big names in the history of Western thought, particularly Aristotle and Nietzche.

To get the most out of Miller's book, I recommend reading it as a companion to Robin Hanson's work on signaling. Indeed, if you want to know if you'll like Miller, go check out Hanson's website [...]right now--they're NOT interchangable thinkers, but if you like Hanson, I can almost guarantee you'll like Miller.
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Top reviews from other countries

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fabiop84
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent
Reviewed in Italy on March 5, 2022
Wonderful and inspiring
Maybe in certain cases It seems to involve his "peackock tail brain" theory even in fields where it's hard to see any effect of sexual selection
Raj Mune
3.0 out of 5 stars Lot of research but if looking for matting strategy , it won't help much.
Reviewed in India on August 22, 2020
The book is quite lengthy around 434 pages. The author has done extensive research and provides depth for knowledge has he himself is PhD. So if you are in research then it might be helpful. Otherwise the book is not much helpful for who are looking for Dating and sexual matting strategy.
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Raj Mune
3.0 out of 5 stars Lot of research but if looking for matting strategy , it won't help much.
Reviewed in India on August 22, 2020
The book is quite lengthy around 434 pages. The author has done extensive research and provides depth for knowledge has he himself is PhD. So if you are in research then it might be helpful. Otherwise the book is not much helpful for who are looking for Dating and sexual matting strategy.
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Web Dweller
5.0 out of 5 stars
Reviewed in Japan on February 16, 2017
科学としては信じがたいところも多いが、冗談としてはよくできている。
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Sebster
5.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening Read
Reviewed in Germany on October 28, 2013
I'm in my late twenties trying to make sense of post university life and I found this book incredibly interesting and insightful. It's not particularly easy to read, but the author explains some very interesting ideas and theories without stating a religious debate, which kept me coming back for more. If you are interested in human evolution and / or human intelligence and its potential origins, this book is for you. For me personally it makes my top 10 maybe top 5 all time favourite list, because I feel it explains so much about behaviour that I've observed and recognised in myself.
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Sphex
5.0 out of 5 stars The wit to woo
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 10, 2012
Charles Darwin gave biology two equally potent theories - natural selection and sexual selection - which fared very differently in the century after his death. The former eventually became established at the heart of the modern evolutionary synthesis. The latter was, if not exactly forgotten, then at least sidelined. In this tremendous book, Geoffrey Miller argues for the importance of "sexual selection through mate choice" as an evolutionary force, and he presents one way (out of the many possible) "to apply sexual selection theory in evolutionary psychology".

Miller begins with a simple and yet far-reaching logical point: each one of our ancestors managed not just to survive "but to convince at least one sexual partner to have enough sex to produce offspring." Anyone who didn't "attract sexual interest did not become our ancestors, no matter how good they were at surviving." Darwin realized this, and argued that evolution is driven by both natural selection (arising through competition for survival) and sexual selection (arising through competition for reproduction). The peacock's tail, for example, "makes no sense as an adaptation for survival, but it makes perfect sense as an adaptation for courtship." Without courtship, there is less chance of sexual reproduction, and without sexual reproduction there is no chance of inheritance. The concept of sexual selection shows how differences in reproductive success can lead to evolutionary change.

Sexually attractive biological "luxuries" such as the peacock's tail are not isolated quirks of the living world that can safely be ignored. They're everywhere and they're not biological accidents. A peacock in poor condition or with poor genes will probably not have as glorious a tail as a healthy peacock with good genes. Even for a healthy bird, growing such a tail is costly, so why do it? Key to the adaptive rationale is the handicap principle: a costly ornament with no survival value can still function as an indicator of fitness, precisely because it is costly and hard to fake. The owner of that ornament will therefore be more likely to attract a mate and to pass on those genes responsible for the ornament into future generations.

Is the same true of, say, art? Many evolutionary biologists have thought of art as an accidental by-product of adaptations that were useful for survival (Stephen Jay Gould used the image of the spandrels of San Marco to make this point). Like growing a splendid tail, however, "artistic production entails effort" and biological systems don't like wasting energy. Since art has been ubiquitous, pleasurable and costly throughout human history, is there an evolutionary explanation?

The stumbling block, of course, is our understanding of the mind, which both produces and appreciates a whole range of things "that human minds are uniquely good at, such as humor, story-telling, gossip, art, music, self-consciousness, ornate language, imaginative ideologies, religion, and morality" and for which there were originally no plausible survival payoffs. If natural selection can't explain these features, what can? As "a committed Darwinian" Miller isn't going to give up on evolution so easily, but first he must tackle the bias of looking at the mind as a calculating machine. He drily notes that the mind-as-computer is a terrific metaphor so long as "you ignore most of human life" and are not interested in questions of emotion, creativity, social interaction, culture, status, and so on. He suggests instead "the metaphor of the mind as a sexually selected entertainment system" that evolved to stimulate other minds.

"Our minds are entertaining, intelligent, creative, and articulate far beyond the demands of surviving on the plains of Pleistocene Africa." How did they get that way? Once we swing the spotlight from natural to sexual selection, we can see how "sexual selection through mate choice can be much more intelligent than natural selection." While habitat is inanimate, animals aren't (the clue's in the word). In particular, animals can have very strong interests when it comes to choosing a mate, and evolution by means of sexual selection will help them choose partners who carry good genes.

A major theme of the book is that "thought itself became subject to sexual selection" once language evolved. "Through language, and other new forms of expression such as art and music, our ancestors could act more like psychologists - in addition to acting like beauty contest judges - when choosing mates. During human evolution, sexual selection seems to have shifted its primary target from body to mind." On this account, human courtship is not something quaint and old-fashioned, involving decorously arranged meetings in the presence of a chaperone. It is the main driving force of human evolution, encouraging individuals to excel in any way they can in order to entertain a potential sexual partner.

Miller acknowledges that there "is much more to modern human social life than courtship, and much more to people than their fitness indicators." Mate choice is intrinsically discriminatory and judgemental, "built to rank potential mates by reducing their rich subjectivity to a crass list of physical, mental, and social features." However, the better we understand these instincts, "the easier they may be to override when they are socially inappropriate." Literature is littered with tales of romantic entanglements, and, for me, understanding courtship from this biological point of view and teasing out the evolutionary narrative combine to add another fascinating dimension to great works of art.

This book is a celebration of the "element of frivolity" that sexual selection has introduced into the cosmos. Humour - "the wit to woo" - is one of its most delightful products, and one of the many ways in which humans have displayed their creative intelligence throughout evolutionary history. Darwin's great sexual selection idea explains three enigmas: "the ubiquity across many species of ornaments that do not help survival, sex differences within species, and rapid evolutionary divergence between species." Focusing on survival value alone was "arguably the most typical mistake of 20th-century theorizing about human evolution." It's a mistake Miller does not repeat.
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