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Holmestice Exchange - Winter 2018
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The Kincardine File: Notes from an Untold Case

Summary:

What it says on the tin – a collection of notes and correspondence from a case for which no full manuscript has been found (almost certainly because Watson thought better of writing this one up for posterity).

Notes:

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Work Text:

12 May 1890

Badly stained hand-written letter
Found on floor of sitting room, 221B Baker Street

-- have just -- been severely injured.  -- leave Keys -- with Camp-- down -- Kincardine.  -- expect -- arrangements -- first.  -- supremely -- unfortunate.  R-- be paid -- Marylebone.

-- don’t -- be – matter of days -- send -- soon --.

-- regret -- suddenly -- you -- understand the urgency --. 

Yours,

M— H—

13 May 1890

Hand-written message - Paddington to St. Johns Wood

My dear Mary:

I have just now had word from Holmes of an urgent matter requiring my assistance.  I must go to Baker Street at once; don’t wait dinner for me.

Your loving servant,

John

Hand-written message - Baker Street to St. Johns Wood

Mary:

Matters are worse than I knew.  It appears Holmes’ brother may have been abducted!  I fear I must remain here at Baker Street temporarily to aid in the investigation.

Fondly,

John

Telegram - Baker Street to Pall Mall

WHO MIGHT BE FABRICATING YOUR ABDUCTION TO SCOTLAND THIS WEEK QUERY

S

Telegram - Pall Mall to Baker Street

FABRICATING QUERY NO IDEA STOP WHY SCOTLAND QUERY

M

Telegram - Baker Street to Pall Mall

FORGED HANDWRITING ABYSMAL STOP KINCARDINE MENTIONED STOP DINE AT DIOGENES PAUSE CONFER STOP

S

Hand-written notes (Watson’s hand)
“Diogenes Club (Strangers’ Room): Kincardine Affair”

Facts

Holmes found letter on floor next to tea table late Monday afternoon on return from British Museum.  Teapot also on floor, letter badly stained but only faintly damp.  Staining v. severe; over half of first & longest paragraph unreadable. 

Deductions

Staining due to tea and ink.  Tea involved is a variety neither Holmes nor I normally drink (but not exotic or rare).  Pattern of stains “peculiar”. 

Holmes: “The chance that a random accident should leave the text so greatly fragmented and yet so coherent is improbably slight.”

Mycroft: “As a ransom note it is unhelpfully vague, save for ‘Kincardine’ – where I know of no matter whatsoever of political or criminal note.”

Discussion

Note’s origin: unknown.  Entry not forced; presumably left with Mrs. Hudson or Billy.  No sign of intruder or search (except Persian slipper out of place, probably knocked aside by falling teapot).

Criminals’ agenda: unclear.   Mycroft: “They are either singularly incompetent, highly inept – or extremely subtle.  If you were meant to bring this to my notice….”

Holmes: “…then the true stroke is elsewhere.  That sounds like a Moriarty operation.”

Argument ensued.

14 May 1890

Hand-written message - Pall Mall to Baker Street

Morning dispatches indicate no likely intrigues closer than Constantinople, and no prizes of note nearer than Egypt.  If your shadow-Napoleon is involved, his path and mine fail to intersect.

Mycroft

Notes (Watson’s hand)
“Baker Street: Kincardine Affair”

Holmes irascible this morning - no tea or breakfast!  Mrs. Hudson nowhere to be found, not seen since Sunday.  “I cannot let domestic trifles distract me from a case of this import—”

A pause, silence.  “Watson…do you recall Mrs. Hudson’s given name?”

I frown.  “Martha, is it not?”

[several paragraphs of barely-readable scrawl, with much crossing-out]

Holmes enraged.  New theory, in brief: Moriarty has kidnapped Mrs. Hudson, motive to be determined.

Telegram - Baker Street to Russell Square

YOUR SCHEMES ARE KNOWN STOP DO YOU YIELD QUERY

SH

Telegram - Russell Square to Baker Street

WHAT SCHEMES QUERY AM CURRENTLY RESEARCHING MARS NOT KINCARDINE

JM

Telegram - Baker Street to Russell Square

EXACTLY STOP KINDLY RETURN MRS. HUDSON AT ONCE STOP

SH

Hand-written message - Baker Street to St. Johns Wood

Mary:

I must bring Holmes round for tea this afternoon. Tread lightly with him - the current case turns on Mrs. Hudson’s vanishment (abduction?).  Remaining in Baker Street may be…impractical in the present situation.

Yours always,

John

Telegram - Russell Square to Baker Street

MRS WHO QUERY

JM

Telegram - Russell Square to Nonpareil Club

COLONEL HAVE YOU BEEN HARASSING HOLMES LANDLADY QUERY

JM

Telegram - Nonpareil Club to Russell Square

NO SIR STOP AMAZED SHES NOT SHOT HIM HERSELF STOP

MORAN

Telegram - Russell Square to Nonpareil Club

TRUE STOP STILL MAINTAIN HANDS OFF POLICY STOP WE ARE GENTLEMEN HERE STOP

JM

Telegram - Nonpareil Club to Russell Square

YES SIR STOP SIGH

MORAN

15 May 1890

Notes (Watson’s hand)
“St. Johns Wood: Kincardine Affair”

Mary is a saint. Holmes less high-strung this morning.  Still fixated on Moriarty – we return to Baker Street shortly so he can disguise himself, watch Professor’s house.

Typed letter - St. Johns Wood to Kincardine

Dear Mrs. Whitaker,

I hope that this note finds you in good – or at least, improving – health.  I am writing in hopes of reaching your niece, Martha.  You may be aware that my husband, Doctor John Watson, was for several years a tenant of hers at 221B Baker Street here in London, along with the celebrated detective Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

I have learned that a message evidently left for Mr. Holmes upon your niece’s recent unexpected departure was largely obscured following an unfortunate encounter with a full pot of tea.  What remained of the text was sufficiently alarming to convince Mr. Holmes and my husband that some manner of foul play had occurred, with a prospect of further criminal activity to come.  As one might expect, they are presently attempting to trace this supposed malfeasance with considerable diligence. 

If, as I believe, Martha is presently residing in your household, I hope you will make her aware of the situation and encourage her to take steps to assuage Mr. Holmes’ darker suspicions.  To that end, I have enclosed a small cheque to defray the cost of a telegram.

Yours very sincerely,

Mrs. Mary Watson (née Morstan)

17 May 1890

Telegram - Kincardine to Baker Street

STOP WORRYING STOP NOT DEAD OR DAMAGED STOP TENDING TO AUNT STOP RETURNING MID JULY STOP LETTER COMING SEE MARY STOP

MRS H

Hand-written letter - Kincardine to St. Johns Wood

Dear Mary,

Thank you for advising me of the situation in Baker Street.  I expect one of the local cats slipped in through an open window and knocked over the teapot.  Of course Mr. Holmes would find a mystery in the muddle that must have left, and I can imagine the story your husband would weave out of a cryptic message and a missing landlady.

You’d best go round and see Jane-Ann Campbell at number 595; she’ll be wondering why Mr. Holmes hasn’t come by to arrange matters.  Do not, however, let her so much as try to cook for him – for that you’ll want Deidre Magill, if her son can spare her from the pub he runs at Gloucester Place.  Oh, and do tell Mr. Holmes that Jane-Ann will be keeping track of his ‘little experiments’ – there’s to be a three pound fee due for every explosion he causes while I’m away, in addition to the cost of repairs.

The doctors say Aunt Colleen will need another eight weeks or so of complete rest before I can leave her on her own again (she broke her right leg in two places; don’t ask how), so I should be back in Baker Street by mid-July.

Again, you have my thanks for helping to restore order in Baker Street – insofar as there is order with someone like Sherlock Holmes in one’s orbit. 

Yours truly,

Martha Hudson

APPENDIX - 12 December 2010

Restored version of original letter
(obtained via high-resolution imaging)

Master Holmes:

I have just had word that my aunt has been severely injured.  I must leave for Kincardine at once to care for her.  Keys and instructions are with Mrs. Campbell down the street.  I expect you’ll want to make other arrangements, but please see her first.  Jane-Ann is supremely reliable in most respects, but her cooking is…unfortunate.  Rent cheques, if necessary, may be given directly at the bank in Marylebone.

I don’t yet know how long I’ll be away.  Aunt Colleen’s recovery may be a matter of days or one of months.  I’ll send word as soon as I know.

I regret having to leave so suddenly, but I trust you will understand the urgency of the situation. 

Yours,

Martha Hudson