Get A Life: Enjoy some ‘non-doing’
This particular spring in New England has been wonderful. I am still in awe that the snow is gone and my plants remembered to give birth to themselves once again. In fact, I have noticed that many of them seem to be bursting with buds, and the shrubbery is rife with a variety of green.
As I sit in my favorite spot looking out at my yard, I almost feel that I am dreaming. We had so much snow for so long that I can’t believe it’s gone. However, the incessant snow, ice and cold reinforced my need to savor every moment of the spring, summer and fall.
The last few days I have found it virtually impossible to motivate myself to do anything that would be called productive. I have simply sat either on my deck staring at various spots in the yard, or sat inside staring at various spots in the yard. Some of you might be thinking, “Well, lucky you, glad you can just hang around while I work my butt off!”
The fact of the matter is that I have never been able to just “hang out” even when I was recovering from one of my implant surgeries. I happen to be one of those proverbial “doers.” Not doing anything has always meant being lazy and useless. My inner dialogue is filled with my mother’s voice cautioning me not to just “sit around” and do nothing. Anyone who took a nap or was caught just sitting and staring was someone who was wasting their life. The ultimate irony was her messages about literature and how important it was to read the classics. Yet when I sat down to read a book, she would start asking me when I was going to be finished reading since we had a lot to do.
Having a lot to do seems to be the new metaphor for American life. I meet so many frazzled and frantic individuals lately. They find it so difficult to give themselves permission to simply stop and refresh themselves without a need “to do.” Yes, you may have many reasons why you can’t, but I would guarantee that somewhere throughout the day you can find some precious moments to just look around, take some deep breaths and just enjoy “non-doing.”
When I first gave myself permission to disregard my mother’s instructions, and allow myself to embrace the sounds, sights, and beauty in my surroundings, it was a struggle. We become habituated to the stories we tell ourselves. Remember, you can change your story, and you can also downgrade the importance of your inner critics. Take some time to chill out. It will not only serve you, but those around you who are tired of hearing you say, you have no time for yourself.
Author, humorist, PBS star and Fortune 500 trainer Loretta LaRoche lives in Plymouth, Massachusetts. To share your pet peeves, questions or comments, write to The Humor Potential, 50 Court St., Plymouth, MA 02360. Visit her website at stressed.com.