I’m the mother of a 10-year-old murderer: Adopted mom of boy who stabbed 12 year old to death reveals how she struggled with his behavior for years but insists he’s no monster

• Unidentified 10-year-old boy in El Cajon, California stabbed Ryan Carter, his 12-year-old friend to death after a bad tempered game last year
• His mother has now revealed that he was suffering an undiagnosed condition - called fetal alcohol syndrome
• He was also taking anti-depressants which his mother says could have caused his extreme and violent reaction to being told-off
• She is now campaigning to raise awareness of fetal alcohol syndrome

By James Nye

Published: 00:26 EDT, 21 October 2013 | Updated: 05:06 EDT, 21 October 2013

The adoptive mother of a 10-year-old Californian boy who stabbed his 12-year-old best friend and killed him last year has broken her silence to claim that her son was suffering side-effects of an anti-deppressant prescribed to control an incorrectly diagnosed behavioral issue.

His mother Julie, who is not using her surname to protect her son, has revealed that she has only now discovered that her boy's violent behavior stems from the fact that he suffers fetal alcohol syndrome - an extremely rare condition which affects only one-percent of the population.

Speaking out now, Julie has said that she will campaign tirelessly to raise the public awareness of fetal alcohol syndrome which she says has caused her son a lifetime of physical and mental issues and is the real reason for his actions that day.

Undiagnosed: The unidentified 10-year-old boy (left) who stabbed and killed his best friend Ryan Carter (right) who was 12-years-old in January 2012 in El Cajon, San Diego

Ryan Carter, 12, was fatally wounded on Martin Luther King Jr. Day last year in El Cajon by his 10-year-old best friend after a game of sword-fighting with foam sticks they were playing outside spiraled out of control.

In an in-depth interview with the San Diego Union Tribune, Julie explained how her son's condition, which was caused by his birth-mother drinking excessively during her pregnancy, caused the otherwise 'sweet and very loving' boy huge behavioral problems.

These began when he was eight-years-old and expressed themselves in aggressive fits during which he would break furniture around the house and kick out at doors on their car.

Julie admitted she would have to watch her son around other children, 'because he would get upset and he would try to hit somebody, and I would try to intervene,' Julie said. 'I could hear him. He had a war cry.'

Eager to control his anger, Julie said that about a month before the fatal attack, he was prescribed an antidepressant called Anaphranil, and his personality changed.

'He got much more aggressive. … He punched me in the face twice,' Julie said. 'He’d never done that before. He bit my arms and left big marks. So that’s when I started emailing the doctor, going, ‘This isn’t right. This is very wrong.’ 

Tragic: Ryan Carter was stabbed to death after a play fight went wrong at the home of his friend in January 2012

On January 16th, 2012, at their home in El Cajon, Julie told the Union Tribune that her son was playing a mock battle with Nerf swords with Ryan, when another kid was left without a partner.

This child complained to Julie, who called her son into to tell him to let the other kid play.

This caused her 10-year-old to lose his temper and he grabbed a steak-knife and ran outside with it, seemingly intent on using it.

However, Julie managed to grab her son in the nick-of-time and brought him back inside.

Suddenly, her child grabbed another knife from the kitchen and ran outside again, this time to be met by his best-friend Ryan, who often stayed over and who said wasn't going to let him past.

Julie watched in horror as her boy stabbed Ryan and despite her best efforts as she administered CPR, Ryan later died in hospital.

'At the time, he had a heartbeat,' said Julie, who has emergency medical training. 'I had my thumb over the wound. It was just a little thumb-sized wound.'

The case stunned the nation and her son became one of the youngest ever defendants charged with murder in San Diego County.

He spent a year-and-a-half in Juvenile Hall and has only recently been released following the tragic incident.

'He was a great kid,' she said of her son's victim, adding that Ryan would spend the night at her house a couple of times a month. 'He had a big heart. He had a lot of patience.'

Adopting her son as a five-month-old baby when she was 40, Julie, who is unmarried, said that when she first saw his picture from the adoption agency she noticed his 'small, wide-set eyes, thin upper lip and flat mid-face.' 

Indeed, Ryan's bereaved parents, Lisa and Glen Carter have incredibly, only offered sympathies to Julie, despite the death of their son

She told the San Diego Union Tribune that she remembered thinking: 'Wow, he’s kinda peculiar looking, but cute.'

What she now knows is that his features were indicative of fetal alcohol syndrome.

As he grew up he began to lag developmentally and showed obsessive traits - such as refusing to go anywhere without a security blanket and becoming frightened by public places with lots of people.

Julie says he would only speak in one word sentences and began acting out in school by hiding under tables.

But Julie never gave up on him. 'He’s my child,' she said she would tell herself. 'Even now, that’s not an option. He’s my son.'

It was only after the stabbing that an attorney put Julie and her son in touch with Dr. Kenneth Lyon Jones, the man who originally identified fetal alcohol syndrome with Dr. David W. Smith in 1973.

In Juvenile Hall, he diagnosed the boy with the condition which affects only one percent of the U.S. population.

Dr. Edward Riley, a San Diego State University professor who studies alcohol-related birth defects, added that children exposed to alcohol in the womb tend to have smaller brains and trouble with communication and social interaction.

Stabbed during a game: This is the home of Julie and her 10-year-old son who killed his friend Ryan Carter in January 2012 after a friendly game spiraled out of control

'This is a brain-based disorder and we need to think about it in those terms,' Riley said.

Tragically, Julie revealed that despite her son being labeled a 'problem child', one of his only friends was Ryan Carter.

Indeed, Ryan's bereaved parents, Lisa and Glen Carter have incredibly, only offered sympathies to Julie, despite the death of their son.

After the District Attorney’s Office charged the 10-year-old with murder and assault with a deadly weapon, it was announced he would receive psychiatric care in a place where he would have regular access to his mother.

'He doesn’t understand why he can’t come home, but he has difficulty controlling his anger and he does need to be there,' Julie said. 'If you took this all away, he would still need to be there.'

This pleased Lisa.

'We’re thankful that he will get help,' Lisa Carter said at the time. 'The only way this tragedy could be made worse is if (Julie) were going through what we’re going through.'

She said she hoped the boy would someday lead a normal life.

'Our thoughts and prayers are with them,' added Glen.

Since the January stabbing on her own door-step, Julie has become vice president of the local chapter of the National Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.