Dateline: Wed Jan 27th 2010, San Francisco: 10:00am
Not since their release of the iWaterboard "enhanced interrogation" playset (tm) has so much excitement been generated over a new Apple product. The new iShackle (tm), demonstrated by Steve Jobs on an anti-DRM protester on stage at a packed San Francisco event this morning, takes customer lock-in to a new level. "With the new iShackle (tm), content companies will literally OWN their customers", said Jobs in front of an ecstatic audience. "No more pesky choice, no more confusing options, just pure, simple, buy this or ELSE corporate power". As expected, fans were completely delighted with the new Apple product. "I can't wait to buy the new iShackle (tm) and take it home and put it on !" said one excited member of the crowd. "Steve says I never have to take it off or think about other products EVER AGAIN !"
Not everyone was pleased with the announcement however. A Microsoft spokesperson said, "We've had the Microsoft zOBEY software for 2 years now, this isn't a new concept. Apple once again copies the market leader." Sales of the Microsoft alternative have been poor however, except for Microsoft employees, who have had use of the software mandated in their employment contracts since Steve Ballmer announced the product at a marketing event in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba in 2007.
Apple Announces new iShackle (tm) ! (Score:3, Insightful)
Dateline: Wed Jan 27th 2010, San Francisco: 10:00am
Not since their release of the iWaterboard "enhanced interrogation"
playset (tm) has so much excitement been generated over a new Apple
product. The new iShackle (tm), demonstrated by Steve Jobs on an
anti-DRM protester on stage at a packed San Francisco event this
morning, takes customer lock-in to a new level. "With the new iShackle
(tm), content companies will literally OWN their customers", said Jobs
in front of an ecstatic audience. "No more pesky choice, no more
confusing options, just pure, simple, buy this or ELSE corporate power". As
expected, fans were completely delighted with the new Apple product.
"I can't wait to buy the new iShackle (tm) and take it home and put it
on !" said one excited member of the crowd. "Steve says I never have
to take it off or think about other products EVER AGAIN !"
Not everyone was pleased with the announcement however. A Microsoft
spokesperson said, "We've had the Microsoft zOBEY software for 2 years
now, this isn't a new concept. Apple once again copies the market
leader." Sales of the Microsoft alternative have been poor however,
except for Microsoft employees, who have had use of the software
mandated in their employment contracts since Steve Ballmer announced
the product at a marketing event in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba in 2007.