Right. I've just watched the UK show and need a dose of reality. So I go and watch a show with prizes an order of magnitude above the UK show. What am I doing?

Was that a special guest in Block 10? Didn't understand it, but it got the crowd going. Won't justify the model walk's sexism with a photo, but they were wearing black and looked like a casually-dressed corps de ballet. Some of them even looked skinny enough, which was upsetting.

ROUND 1: red win 271-266, and each of them win a Philips Wake-Up Light, the first repeat prize I've seen so far. It's a Dutch firm, which may not be unrelated. 9B/10 (Marlo) is offered a BOSE home entertainment system, and I have to check I'm not watching episode 1 by mistake, as I swear that was in it too. She rejects it obviously.

ROUND 2 (I got the first two questions right in this round, probably the first time I've even been able to approximately understand two in a row!): Block 2 win with 84, four clear of Block 1. 1A/23 (Ietse) is offered the entertainment system and a motor scooter. I think they've reused the episode 1 prize set here... he takes the place in the final six instead.

ROUND 3 (video question is for a charity I've not come across on this show before, and is something to do with Facebook and a gorilla!): B over A by a huge margin, 39-28. 2A/12 (Willem) is an old man with a very gruff voice and is offered those two prizes with... 16 nights in Mauritius for two! Linda has to explain it's off the coast of Africa, he asked if it was in the Caribbean I think. He takes the place in the final six anyway. The prizes instead go to... 7B/16, Iris!


I just want you to know who I am.

Top three from 2B are Patrick, Toos (yes) and... Herman Goering, did I hear that right? €10,000 to Helga van den Akker, though. Now that's a name. And that's a celebration.


Is this the Helga the Stereophonics wrote about? Doubt it.

After The Round That Goes Right Over My Head... WHAT THE HELL?!?


Bear in mind the highest possible answer is 494 as they're polling 494 people on a yes/no question.

...right, anyway, after that round, we're left with a final two of Toos and Ietse. We've got a brilliant name no matter what, folks! Ietse is pronounced "It-se", Toos is pronounced "Toes".How many kids does Toos have? Five! Shock face from Linda... "Applause!". We get it. Ietse has three kids, a receding hairline, and about a 20cm height advantage over Toos.


But Toos has shiny semi-rimless glasses. And bling.

The counter starts very... slowly... but it's going up in bigger jumps now... TOOS STOPS AT €50,000! I think there was a tiny bit more... she talks about what it'll do for her and the crowd applaud but I didn't understand a word... it was going to stop at €88,000, the highest of the series. I'd probably have stopped around €65,000.

So it's Ietse to play. Let's hope the Banker doesn't have vowel trouble.

*badoom-tish*

Ietse opts for CASE 17, we get a very happy and very skinny winner of €10,000 from the audience...


Twirling like a ballet dancer. Looking like one, too.

...and we see the wife in the audience, right at the front it seems which I've not seen before. Linda mentions €400,000 and €500,000, presumably as possible wins, but I missed the context. I need to get my Dutch-speaking friend to translate these bits for me. It would help if I lived so far away from him it's quicker to actually get to the Netherlands.

We're away. "Do your best." Toos is actually in the case-opening crowd, a change in ruleset from previous years where a random replacement would be found.

ROUND 1 (6 to open)
3 (guess €10,000) - €100,000. We'll take it.
6 (guess €5,000) - €0.01! No audience reaction.
15 (guess €25,000) - €75,000.
21 (guess €750,000 - "Oh.") - €300,000.
11 (first one not a multiple of three; guess €50,000) - €50! He got it half right...
9 (guess €500,000) - €200,000.

That is a huge hole in the board, and Linda makes note of it, but the highest amount in it is only 6% of the jackpot... hence...

OFFER €35,000

Which might be a record for this show - I've not seen one higher anyway. Linda mentions the €50,000 Toos took, and we have an obvious NO DEAL.

ROUND 2 (5 to open)
8 (guess €400,000) - €5,000.
19 (guess €500) - €1! Still no applause. We need a correct guess to wake this lot up.
5 (guess €10,000) - €10,000! RIGHT ON CUE! CORRECT GUESS FOR €18,000! A shy little old lady gets lucky; Linda reminds her how much she's got...


...and she cannot quite believe it!

14 (guess €500) - €25,000. There is only one amount between €2,500 and €400,000 left on this board!!
23 (guess €10) - €1,000. "A perfect round" says Linda, and she's practically right.

OFFER €125,000

Linda did not see that coming and I didn't either! Still not dealable with the super six intact, but with only one more on the right we might be in for an early Deal. Not this early though - NO DEAL to a proper round of applause.

This is tense stuff now.

ROUND 3 (4 to open)
1 (guess €5) - €100! Why are they not clapping?!?
18 (guess €500,000) - €50,000! There is now nothing between €2,500 and €400,000!!
24 (guess €500,000) - €0.50! And now the crowd are stirring! 50% chance of at least €400,000 in the case... and of course, that chance of taking at least that much out here... did Linda just say he's wanting to buy cars?!?
12 (guess €2,500,000) - €5,000,000!! Oh.

Linda pulls a pose of despair. "It was in case 12 and not in case 17... that was unlucky... now we must focus and concentrate on the €2,500,000." Me, I'm focusing on the rest of the right side:



OFFER €179,000

That's how valuable that block is/that's how much the offers are set to go up early on. (Delete to taste.) I'm playing on with this stability and offer pattern; there may only be one more round in it, though. Wife says stop... some of the crowd applaud warmly... NO DEAL! Before Linda could properly ask!

I'd prepare myself for an 'average' round of €1m and two on the left.

ROUND 4 (3 to open)
4 (guess €2,500,000 - crowd stir) - €2,500,000!!


Poor Linda.

Still a fantastic €1m board.

22 (guess €2,500) - €0.20! Linda points out it's 50-50 that he's got €400k or more if this next one is low.
25 - HE'S ABOUT TO OPEN IT AND LINDA CALLS A BREAK! Classic. When we return... as I realise I missed his guess... and the still-not-secure 50% chance gets another mention... oh he guesses €500... €10! "YES!" AND HE FALLS OVER!!


I'm amazed this hasn't happened before.

Well, he's OK.

OFFER €128,000

That isn't, with this stability. NO DEAL. Linda pulls a bit of a face and a dance, she approves of that one.

ROUND 5 (2 to open)
We can expect one from each block.
10 (Toos - guesses €500) - €2,500! Doesn't go up to €58,000 but it's great for Ietse!
16 (guess €500,000 - "Sorry, I hope not for him") - €500!!

The Best NBC Final Six There Never Was, In Euro
€5
€20
€400,000
€500,000
€750,000
€1,000,000

We're going well into the one-to-open rounds here surely.

OFFER €250,000

Not with four higher, surely? Linda hushes the audience, although I think it was to set up an amusing remark. Take out the million, and you still have €1.65m on the board and a €200k offer; you literally have to play on. NO DEAL it is! Big, big cheers, as well they might be. We've got a classic, folks!

ROUND 6 (1 to open from now on)
26 (guess €5) - €500,000! Audience properly reacted to that one. "Unlucky, but not dramatic," is Linda's take on that...

OFFER €300,000

Take out the million and it's probably still a €200k offer, I'd play on one more again. Linda points out the same situation, merely says it 'won't be three ton' (a 'ton' is €100,000). "Serious money", Linda reminds Ietse... NO DEAL! Linda looks a bit shocked at that... but she seems to be shocked at one-to-two No Deals per episode. Can we have her between seasons of this?

ROUND 7
20 (guess €5) - €1,000,000!! Groans, the odd shriek. But we still have two huge sums of money in play...

OFFER €220,000

That's my bailout, although even the worst-case scenario is probably still an offer nudging €100k, and the best-case scenario is twice as likely and offers a probable €350k. "Two higher, two lower," Linda points out... DEAL! He motioned to close the case, but he pressed the button in the end! Good play!

PROVEOUT
7 (guess €400,000) - €20! Oh.
2 (guess €400,000) - €400,000! "Yes!" CORRECT GUESS FOR €3,000!

Final two is about as dramatic as they come - €5 vs €750,000. Now, who'd expect a Banker's Gamble here in the UK? And who'd take it?

13 (guess €750,000) - €5! So case 17 had €750,000, the first OBW of the series but still a very good result!